THE ART OF BEING A LADY | Stay Carefree

I have always had a love for vintage Hollywood glam which stems from wonderful memories of me and my mother fawning over movies like Stormy Weather and Cabin in the Sky.  When I think about the story of Eartha Kitt, a story that would have made even the strongest of us crumble, I can not help but sit in admiration.  Many people do not know that Eartha Kitt was given away by her own mother at the tender age of 8 years old to live with an aunt in Harlem, New York.  Ms. Kitt managed to quickly become a star all while keeping her air of sensual cheerfulness that many people leave behind as they reach adulthood, and despite her tough life, never let the “world” kill her curiosity and ability to laugh .

Eartha Kitt

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Have you ever looked at your calendar, your list of to-do items, and your stack of bills and think, “When did I become such a grown-up?”  Life, in all of its glory is a rollercoaster of rewards and responsibilities most of which can cause us to mature and sometimes harden into serious, hard-to-impress adults.   Being breezy is not something only reserved for adolescence and cultivating an adulthood with less worry and stress and more fun and wanderlust is very possible.   With these simple steps, we as women can prevent the loss of our sense of joy and stay carefree.

Do not seek the approval of others.  Lets face it…humans are finicky beings with opinions that change on a minute by minute basis.  As a child I remember being devastated when a 1st grade classmate told me she didn’t like me.  I ran home and reported this to my father who I fully expected to march up to my school and tell that little girl just how wonderful of a person I was.   My father did the exact opposite and lovingly sat me down, wiped my tears and said, “Listen Maisha, there are 6 billion people in this world.  If one little girl doesn’t like you then to hell with her!”  What I learned that day is the world is too big and life too short to care about winning the approval of people, and one person not liking you doesn’t stop the show.

[bctt tweet=”The world is too big & life too short to care about winning the approval of people- Maisha Harris”]

Do accept that hard times will come.  Life is not easy; we ALL know that, yet the sooner we come to understand that hard times are enevitable, the sooner we can free ourselves from worry and grow to cherish the celebratory things in life.

Do learn from your mistakes and grow from them both big and small.  Bad decisions are something that are mostly avoidable when you choose to learn from your past.  Instead of beating yourself up for staying with your ex-beau 1 month too long, recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships and surround yourself with sound functional people.  Instead of kicking yourself for not taking that internship, develop mentor relationships with experts in your dream career path.  Whatever it is that has you stuck in self-loathing and regret, file it away as a lesson learned and keep it moving.

Maisha Harris- That IT Girl

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Do surrender to the moment.  Stop trying to appear to be having a fun to your online friends and followers and actually have fun!  Enjoy that party you’ve been invited too by dancing to your favorite song.  Close your laptop and ask that stranger at Starbucks about her interesting looking book she’s reading. Put your phone down, lift your head up, absorb your surroundings and live.

Do not be afraid to say yes.  I am the first to admit that I am not the biggest risk taker.  I have to research, make a list, plan, and weigh my options before agreeing to do anything.  Spontaneity is the foundation of carefreeness and is something that I work on everyday.  I have been starting small by trying new restaurants without scanning reviews on Yelp,  planning travel to more remote or exotic locations, and accepting more outing invites from friends even when I’d rather be at home pinning on Pinterest.

Do smile and laugh often.  Smiling is seriously one of the best beauty secrets with laughter being the best medicine.  Hearty chuckles and girlish giggles instantly lifts the face, the mood, and lowers stress hormones.  Better yet, having a good sense of humor and the ability to not take oneself to seriously is a really good way to gives yourself a power shot of sexiness that I’m sure we can all use and appreciate.

How has choosing to be carefree been of benefit to you?  Leave a comment and lets discuss.